What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Sure no problem officer.

Why would my husband cheat on me with an ugly fat woman?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

When a black man and a white woman have a child, does the child become white? If a white man and a black woman have a child, does the child become black?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

How did the trans issue metastasize within just a decade from being a question of kindness and tolerance to a tiny minority to convulsing a whole society?

HELLO

Yes sir it is.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Have you ever been instructed/forced to crossdress for the benefit of others?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

{RING} {RING}

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

How did you cope when someone you love, dealing with hyper-independence and trauma, felt they needed space to heal alone? Were you able to support them without overstepping, and did you eventually reconnect? How did that journey unfold?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

After a few moments he returns.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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